I just threw up on my dentist
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
