i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
