she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
