Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
