is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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