All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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