Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
