Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize