I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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