wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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