Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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