he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
