WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
