I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
