You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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