Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I pour the whiskey from now on
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
