omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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