I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
