As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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