Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you never un-have a 4some
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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