I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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