she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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