No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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