Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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