He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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