Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I deserve this hangover.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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