he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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