We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
