that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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