Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize