I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize