i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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