Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
