I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
