I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
