Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
