im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i out mim tonsoeep
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