I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
