If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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