jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
