i wish starbucks made bloody marys
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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