There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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