why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.