It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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