the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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