she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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