she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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