Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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