Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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