You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
