Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
