dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
