he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
