I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
