She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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