Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize