Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Acid is not a monday night drug
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i now understand why vodka
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
