omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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