What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The ass gains better be worth it
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