What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
