Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
