I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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