i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
