dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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