My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
